


May We Meet Again

by eternaleponine



Series: Clexathon 2016 [6]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Deleted Scenes, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 02:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8872420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternaleponine/pseuds/eternaleponine
Summary: The first time they tried to say goodbye, they weren't quite ready to let go.  Now they have to if Clarke is going to get out of the city in time.





	

It occurred to Lexa that she could just... not let Clarke go. She could keep her distracted until it was too late for her to leave and get safely clear of the blockade before it was in place, until Octavia was gone from the city without her, probably angry but if she and Lincoln found themselves on the opposite sides of a brewing war...

Lincoln. One of her regrets. It had been necessary, or had felt necessary... 

Just as it was necessary for Clarke to go. Neither of them wanted it. Neither of them wanted to move from this bed, to shatter this moment, this fragile cocoon of peace and safety they'd wrapped themselves in made of sheets and furs and each other's arms and hope which was the most fragile thing of all, and all they had.

"Clarke," she whispered, stroking fingers over her skin, watching her eyes crack open as she woke from the gentle doze that so often came after lovemaking.

_You have to go. They're your people. That's why I..._

She closed her eyes against the sudden rush of tears, kissed Clarke instead, as Clarke had kissed her the first time they tried to say goodbye, but this time had to be... not the last. _Not_ the last, but the last time for now. She had to let her go.

"The sun's going down," she said when the kiss broke and Clarke's eyes opened again, looking up at her with something deep and aching in their blue depths, all of her doubts plain for Lexa to read even if no one else could. Doubts about the future, about what would happen when she left, about whether they could bring their people together again and avert a war between them. Doubts about whether they would ever see each other again, whether they would ever sink into each other and lose themselves, shed all their worries along with their clothes and just _be_...

... not _Trikru_ and _Skaikru_...

... not _Heda_ and _Wanheda_...

... but just themselves. Just Clarke and Lexa. 

Just two girls without the weight of the world on their shoulders. 

Just two girls in love.

"I have to go," Clarke said. It wasn't a question, except it almost was, like she was hoping maybe, somehow, something had changed, maybe Lexa would tell her no, she couldn't, she had to stay. 

Or maybe Lexa was just hearing what she wanted to hear, but she nodded as if it had been a question, telling her that yes, she had to go, and it was all right. It was all right if she left, because she would come back. Of course she would come back.

This wasn't the end.

Lexa forced herself to sit up, shivering in the sudden chill as the blankets fell away, and then Clarke was at her back and she was warm again as she kissed the back of her shoulder and then the side of her neck, but then she was gone, standing up, picking up her discarded clothing, handing Lexa the pieces that were hers.

They dressed in silence, not looking at each other. 

"Can you...?" Lexa asked, turning her back to Clarke and lifting her hair. 

"I suppose I'd better, since I was the one who undid it in the first place," Clarke said as she tied up Lexa's top again. Her fingers ghosted over Lexa's skin, and then her arms were around her, pulling her back and holding her tight. "I wish it could be different," she said, her voice slightly muffled as she spoke the words against Lexa's skin. "But I meant what I said. Maybe someday we will owe nothing more to our people."

"And I meant it when I said that I hope so," Lexa replied. 

But she knew the truth. She would only owe nothing more to her people when her life ended and she was replaced by the next Commander. Until then she belonged to them. Until then, her life was not her own.

Her heart, though...

Well, her heart wasn't her own, either. Her heart was Clarke's, whether she knew it or not. Whether she said the words or not, it was the truth. Which meant there was nothing of her that was actually hers... but at least she believed her heart would be safe with Clarke... as long as no one ever found out, and turned this into Costia all over again.

Her breath caught and she swallowed a sob, and pushed against Clarke's embrace until she let her go, but only so that she could turn around and return it, their foreheads resting against each other, eyes closed to hold back tears (at least in her case, maybe Clarke was more in control). 

"This isn't goodbye," Clarke told her. "This isn't the end. I'm not letting this – you – go. Not where it matters." Her hand snaked between their bodies to press her palm over Lexa's heart, and then her own. "We'll work this out, you and me. For our people, but also for ourselves."

Lexa nodded, opened her eyes, and Clarke smiled. 

"We'll work it out," she repeated. 

"We will," Lexa agreed. She straightened, pushing back her shoulders, but then leaned in again for one last kiss before letting Clarke go.

"You'll send word that you've arrived safely?" she asked. "You are still an ambassador, after all."

Clarke nodded with the faintest of smiles. "I'll send word."

"Good. Safe travels, Clarke _kom Skaikru_."

"Be well, Lexa," Clarke said. For a second Lexa thought she might reach out just once more, but then she turned and was gone.

The room was dark and cold and empty without her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my anonymous prompter on Tumblr who asked for what it would have been like for Clarke and Lexa post-sex. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
